Parents and Church Leaders Disagree on How Best to Disciple Children

When it comes to discipling children, parents and church leaders don’t always agree on who should carry the load. Findings from Children’s Ministry in a New Reality, a study Barna produced in partnership with Awana, show that most children’s ministry leaders (95%) say discipleship begins at home.

Parents, however, are divided. Half (51%) expect the church to take the lead, while nearly as many parents (49%) believe it’s their responsibility. Many parents also admit they feel under-equipped—86 percent say their children learn spiritual lessons at church that they themselves cannot teach.

This tug-of-war reveals a deeper challenge: if children’s ministry is going to be healthy, pastors must help both parents and their ministry leaders find common ground. Child discipleship cannot be outsourced entirely to one or the other. Both need clarity about their roles—and a shared vision for partnership.

Another Gap is Mentoring

There’s a third aspect of discipling children that goes largely overlooked: mentors, teachers, and other adult friends, who can help bridge the gap between home and church.

Barna’s research shows that the presence of other caring adults at church can make a profound difference in a child’s life. Kids who have the benefit of other spiritual mentors in their life are more engaged in Scripture, more connected to the church community, and more eager to live out their faith in everyday life.

Although data highlights the powerful effects of mentors and other caring adults in the spiritual formation of a child, only 39 percent of churched parents with 5–14-year-olds say their child has a meaningful relationship with another adult at church. 

Equipping Parents to Disciple

How can churches help parents disciple their kids while also raising up trusted adults to walk alongside them?

Here are three ways forward:

1. Frame the partnership — Clarify that spiritual formation is a shared partnership between church, home, and the wider faith community. Discipleship isn’t the church’s job or the parents’ job alone. Equip parents to embrace their primary role, provide practical tools, and model what everyday faith conversations can look like—while reinforcing those lessons through the support of church leaders and caring mentors.
2. Foster intergenerational connections — Move beyond age-segregated ministry by intentionally weaving kids into the broader life of the church. Invite them to serve alongside adults, pair them with mentors in small groups or ministry teams, and create regular opportunities for meaningful conversations across generations. These relationships give children role models who echo and reinforce what they’re learning at home and in church.
3. Prioritize Scripture and mission — Keep God’s Word central by helping kids engage the Bible for themselves through reading, memorization, and discussion. Encourage families to practice their faith together in everyday life—serving others, praying as a household, and applying Scripture in real situations—so the next generation grows resilient and ready to follow Jesus in the world beyond church walls.

Effective child discipleship doesn’t happen by accident. It takes parents, leaders, and mentors joining together—integrating home, church and community into a durable set of relationships and practices strong enough to carry a child’s faith into the future. Barna offers a five-week learning cohort called Equipping Parents CoLab. The digital cohort is for church leaders who want to dive more deeply into the research and practical ministry strategies for equipping parents in their church. You can sign up to participate individually or with your team here.