At a Glance

• A reality check for pastors: Half of Christians and churchgoers tell Barna their pastor understands blended and non-traditional families; the other half disagrees or is not sure.
• The changing family landscape: This gap matters because the “nuclear family” does not represent most U.S. households. More adults inside and outside the Church are waiting longer to get married and have kids in the first place, and many parents are single, remarried or empty-nesting.
• Addressing blind spots: Church leaders may have strengths in addressing married parents, but could grow in their ability to connect with the variety of families in their congregations and communities. 

The shape of families is evolving—both across the U.S. and within local congregations. But do pastors’ approach to ministry appropriately account for these shifts? 

According to new Barna data, drawn from The State of Today’s Family study, half of Christians or church attendees (50%) tells Barna, yes, “Our pastor is understanding of the experiences of blended families and nontraditional family structures.” But the other half says this is not the case (27%) or that they are not sure (23%). In other words, adults who are in church—who represent a spectrum of family experiences—are split on whether their pastors are mindful of non-nuclear households. 

This gap matters because the “nuclear family” is not an accurate description of most U.S. families at present. Within their own congregations, faith leaders likely see patterns that mirror the general population trends: More adults are delaying marriage and parenthood, and more parents find themselves navigating single-parent, blended or empty-nesting households. 

Why might half of church attendees wonder if their pastors understand this reality? Church leaders may simply feel most fluent in the language of the nuclear family unit, which they are more likely to be a part of; 91 percent of pastors are married and 90 percent of pastors have children. Pastors often have some natural insights and strengths when it comes to discipling spouses and parents. 

But their ability to connect with other households may suffer when service schedules, small-group setups, budgeting priorities and even messaging for stage-of-life ministries also hold the nuclear household most in mind, either as the norm or as the aim. Good intentions like encouraging marriage covenants or discipling the next generation need to be balanced with an awareness of individuals who are not currently part of a “traditional” family structure but still make up a sizeable part of the Church body.

Overcoming Potential Blind Spots

Ministry playbooks that assume a nuclear family or a certain order for family formation may already be failing to serve congregants, to see the wide range of family experiences or to reach out to adults and families in other chapters of life.

To uncover possible blind spots, pastors might start by reviewing ministry structures through a wider lens: Who feels most at home in our church’s family programming—and who might feel left out? Do our sermons, small groups and visuals reflect the range of family stories present in our congregation and community?

Regularly engaging members from varied life stages—single adults, couples without children, stepfamilies, grandparents raising children—can reveal where ministry rhythms need to expand. Simple acts of listening and adjustment can help every person feel seen and supported as part of the family of faith. Recognizing these realities helps invite belonging to every person and household that seeks to follow Christ together.

Through the Flourishing Families Initiative, Barna is offering pastors an up-to-date picture of U.S. households, as well as key insights about how to strengthen them. You can learn more about this research and what it might mean for your ministry through our free webinar for The State of Today’s Family.