At a Glance

• Only 1 in 7 married parents meet Barna’s criteria for resilience, highlighting how rare sustained family resilience is today.
• Resilient families are not spared from conflict or hardship; they are more likely to practice repair, seek support and remain connected to supportive communities.
• Shared practices and consistent engagement beyond the household—including faith-based rhythms for some families—help reinforce emotional, relational and spiritual bonds at home.

Even as marriage and parenting are increasingly delayed or disrupted, married parents remain a significant and influential segment of today’s families. According to Barna’s State of Today’s Family research, 37 percent of U.S. adults are married with children—and many others still aspire to these relationships in the future. Understanding the health of these families matters well beyond individual households: the patterns formed at home shape how values, relationships and responses to stress are lived out in daily family life.

The data reveals a sobering reality. Only 14 percent of married parents fall into Barna’s “Resilient” category, while more than a third (36%) are classified as “Fragile.” Because resilient families represent such a small share of the population, their experiences offer a valuable window into the conditions and practices most closely associated with family resilience. Examining the differences between these groups helps illuminate how families—and those who support them—can strengthen the foundations that allow resilience to take root and grow.

How Barna Measures Family Resilience

Barna’s resilience framework focuses on four relational, emotional and spiritual markers that consistently appear in resilient families (see About the Research for more details):

• Shared values and beliefs that guide family life
• Open and healthy communication between spouses
• A deep emotional connection within the marriage
• Active engagement in community or faith-based practices beyond the household

Married parents are categorized based on how many of these traits they consistently exhibit:

• Resilient (all four): 14%
• Stable (three): 26%
• Struggling (two): 24%
• Fragile (one or none): 36%

These categories aren’t labels of success or failure. Instead, they offer a practical lens for understanding where families are strong—and where they may need support. Here are three crucial insights to glean from resilient families.

1. Resilient Families Practice Repair, Not Avoidance

Conflict is not absent in resilient families—but the research shows that it is approached differently. Barna’s data shows that married parents in resilient households are far more likely to take responsibility for their actions and address relational strain directly. Nine in ten say it is very true that they make an effort to apologize when they’ve hurt a family member, and a similar share say they take responsibility for their actions, even when doing so is difficult.

Rather than minimizing tension or moving past it unresolved, resilient families tend to pause, reflect and repair. For many, this process is reinforced by shared beliefs or spiritual practices—such as prayer—that encourage accountability and forgiveness. These patterns foster humility and emotional safety, helping families restore trust after conflict.

Families in the fragile category, by contrast, are more likely to avoid conflict or respond with sarcasm, withdrawal or silence. Over time, avoidance becomes a pattern that weakens communication and erodes emotional connection—one of the very traits that distinguishes resilient families from the rest.

What this reveals: Healthy families don’t avoid conflict—they repair it. Resilience is shaped less by the absence of tension and more by consistent patterns of accountability and repair that preserve trust and emotional connection over time.

2. Resilient Families Seek Support After Hardship

Hardship alone does not distinguish resilient families from others. Barna’s data shows that roughly half of married parents—across all resilience categories—report having experienced a highly distressing event, such as significant loss or trauma. Exposure itself does not explain why some families remain stable while others struggle.

The difference lies in what happens next. Married parents in resilient households are significantly more likely to seek support following difficult experiences, whether through trusted relationships, professional counseling or faith-based communities. They are more willing to name the impact of hardship and to accept help rather than carrying the burden alone.

Families in the fragile category, by contrast, are less likely to access support of any kind. Discomfort with seeking help or uncertainty about where to turn often leaves stress and grief unaddressed, increasing strain on family relationships over time.

What this reveals: Resilience isn’t about being spared from hardship. It’s about not walking through hardship alone. Families are more likely to remain resilient when they have access to trusted sources of care—and when seeking support is viewed as a strength rather than a failure.

3. Resilient Families Engage Beyond the Household

Resilient families are more likely to engage in shared activities that connect them to others beyond their immediate household. Barna’s data shows that married parents in resilient families participate more consistently in communal practices—such as service, group involvement and faith-based activities—often experienced together rather than individually.

These shared forms of engagement reinforce connection within the family itself. Practices like volunteering, participating in community groups or engaging in shared spiritual rhythms provide families with a sense of purpose and belonging. In fact, prayer, church attendance and serving together emerge as some of the strongest predictors of family connection in the data. For many resilient families, faith functions not only as belief, but as a set of shared practices that structure family life.

Families in the fragile category, by contrast, are less likely to engage regularly in shared community life. Their participation is more sporadic or individual, limiting opportunities for connection and reinforcement during periods of stress.

What this reveals: Resilience is strengthened when families share practices that connect them beyond the household. Consistent, collective engagement helps reinforce relational bonds and provides stability during times of strain.

Why This Matters

Family resilience does not emerge by chance. Barna’s data points to a consistent set of patterns: families are more likely to remain resilient when they repair relationships after conflict, seek support during hardship and participate in shared practices that reinforce connection and purpose. These conditions do not eliminate strain, but they shape how families respond to it—strengthening trust, emotional stability and relational bonds over time.

Understanding what distinguishes resilient families matters because so few households currently meet these criteria. By identifying the relational, communal and spiritual factors most closely associated with resilience, this research offers insight into how families—and the networks that surround them—can better support strength and stability in everyday family life.